A Complete Guide To Choosing Your Bridesmaids And Groomsmen

Choosing your bridesmaids and groomsmen may seem daunting, but not to worry—we’ve provided a guide to help you through the selection process.

Emphasize Reliability

While you may not need your bridesmaids or groomsmen to actively take part in the wedding planning process, there are moments where you’d need to know you can count on them for literally anything. If your friend isn’t always the most dependable person – never returns calls, always makes excuses or constantly shows up late when you have plans, then they may not be the right person for the job. The best honor attendants are the friends who are responsible and dependable.

Think About Their Personalities

Before you sent out the “be my bridesmaid or groomsman” gift, think about how your wedding party will get along. Your wedding party is going to be working together as a team in the run up to the big day – will they all get along?

Put the personalities of each of them into consideration, if one of them has an abrasive personality that tends to rub off wrongly on people, that’s a potential drama you’d want to avoid. Aim for a group of bridesmaids and groomsmen who are friendly, cordial, and have good team spirit.

You Don’t Have To Return The Favor

Weddings are no time for quid pro quo. You don’t need to ask someone to be part of your wedding party because they asked you to be in theirs.

Start with a blank piece of paper, jot down the names of potential bridesmaids and think about the jobs that you might be asking them to do – who can you rely on?

Be Mindful Of The Budget

Being a bridesmaid or groomsman could be expensive. If you know a friend is in a tough spot financially, call them and talk it over before asking officially. Let them know you’d love to include them, but also have a few alternative ways for them to be involved if joining the wedding party might be too expensive. 

Include Family

It’s always nice to include your family in your wedding party. If they’re much younger, you may prefer to have them serve as ushers, little groom or flower girl, but if they’re in the same age range as you are, give them the full-blown honor.

Traditionally, it’s ladies on one side and guys on the other, but feel free to break that rule and have them stand on either side of the aisle.

Remember, there are no written rules to choosing your bridesmaids and groomsmen. Feel free to tweak any of these tips to best suit you and the type of ceremony you’re going to have.


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